


compilation of vents

by GraciousMaximus



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Intrusive Thoughts, Opening Up, Violent Thoughts, for the first two the original tags are included, hey look i merged these two, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 17:10:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18286640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraciousMaximus/pseuds/GraciousMaximus
Summary: venty works tm.





	1. sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> (original tags: No Archive Warnings Apply - Blue Fell, Tom Wood, vent - Freeform, Opening Up, hey look its the boys, not in the roommates work thats for sure, minor character feels but not the angst kind, also the vent/opening up tags keep getting corrected to that by archive and idk what to do man)
> 
> tommy boy opens up
> 
> vent

Tom and Blue were settled in their nest of pillows and blankets, wrapping themselves in a few of the large fabrics. From someone outside, it looked like a messy fort that some kid made and didn’t clean up. To the roomies who shared the fort, it was a safe space.

In this instance, the boys were positioned with the robot’s head in the other’s lap as they both watched netflix from a laptop B owned. Earbuds were tangled and strewn across a pillow nearby. Tom hugged a soft, floppy pillow, cocooned in a blanket, while Blue was fine with a different sheet of fabric draped over his shoulders- with Tom radiating his own heat, Blue didn’t exactly need anything else.

Tom rolled over in such a way that he could look up at B’s face. Blue, although confused, paused the video and shuffled into a position where he was half laying on the floor and half leaning against the wall behind him. The laptop was kicked once, maybe twice, making the robot glance over to it.

“What’s up?” Blue asked in an attempt to prompt Tom. The smaller of the two seemed like he wanted to talk, but stayed silent for a while.

“Sometimes I.... um..” Tom started, which immediately earned Blue’s eye contact and made Tom nervous.

“Don’t stare at me like that.” An attempt to laugh it off.

Blue looked away in compliance, bearing a hint of a smile that had come from Tom’s ever so contagious happiness.

They sat in silence for a while, staring at the ceiling.

“Sometimes I feel like...” Tom rolled over to face away from B, making it harder to hear him but being a more comfortable position for the both of them. “I can’t open up because nobody really cares. And even if they did care, what if I just end up a burden to them?”

Blue waited a moment to make sure Tom had finished speaking.

“Mmmmyeah. I kinda know how you feel. At least on the... unable to open up front.” He tipped his head to the side, trying to gather words. “On my end it’s for a whole ‘nother reason but uhm. I can at least kind of know what you’re going through.

“Opening up isn’t much of a strong suit considering it’s really hard for me to do. There’s not many people I trust enough- and even if I trust them, they’ll often just throw it away and I’d end up having to start over again.”

He sighed.

“That’s just my experience though, it’s nothing like yours, don’t let that stop you or something...”

“No no! You can keep going” Tom looked over to his roommate, talking into the pillow he continued to hold close. “You seem like you haven’t talked about this kind of thing in a while, I want you to feel safe here because I want to be a person you’re safe with.”

“You seemed like you had a point you wanted to make, I shouldn’t shut you down like that, especially when I’ve been treated the same-”

“No it’s okay! I just wanted to let it out and I finished my point and you can finish yours!”

“mmmmph.” Blue groaned softly, putting his face in his hands. “Whatever, I’m done too I guess.”

They stared silently into the ceiling for a bit, Blue unsure if he wanted to pull the computer back over to them to continue watching.

“Sometimes I feel like,” Tom started again, voice soft. “I’m a toxic person. That I’m manipulative and clingy. That nobody should be around me because they deserve someone better than me in their lives.”

“Okay, that’s just not true. The fact that you’re considering that as a descriptor of you is wild.” Blue stated bluntly. “You’ve been the nicest person to me in a long time, and you don’t have a drop of malicious intent in you, it’s just not in your character. You’re not clingy, you’re affectionate and it may be annoying at times but usually you have the sense to ask first when it looks like I don’t want to be touched.”

“I’m clingy because I don’t want to lose you too.”

Blue stopped after that was mumbled into a pillow.

“I push everyone away because I feel like a bad person. I’m clingy because I don’t want them to go. I want them to go because I’m too clingy and annoying.” Tom had rolled over again. “It’s a vicious cycle and I hate it. But I can’t escape it either.”

“Oh that’s...” Blue tried to acknowledge  _something_. “a... lot more to unpack.”

“Uh. First off...” B paused, collecting more words. “that’s probably bad. Like a mental health kind of bad. Maybe. I’m not a therapist or whatever does the mental diagnosing ahaha. I’ve just heard of the problem in other things.”

Blue ran a hand through his hair, nervously trying to think of some kind of reassurance.

“I... don’t know what to tell you, buddy.” He combed his fingers through Tom’s hair in an effort to offer comfort.

They sat in silence for another few minutes, Blue playing with Tom’s hair.

“Sometimes I feel like.” Tom spoke half into the pillow. “The support system that I’ve leaned on for my whole life has morphed into pressure, a pressure to try harder when I’m already trying as hard as I can.”

That one really hit.

“Oh heck, I’m sorry dude.” Blue slid up against the wall so he could sit up better, Tom shifting slightly to accommodate. “If I’m ever pressuring you like that, you can tell me and I’ll stop-”

“No, no, it’s not you. Not really. You’re okay.” Tom sat up to face B, leaving the pillow on the floor, giving a soft smile. “I just. Other people do it a lot. Mostly family.”

“But still, if I’m overwhelming you or something-”

“Blue you’re okay!” Tom gave a small laugh, soft and bubbly and guaranteed to make you smile.

Blue did smile, slightly. “I just want you to be comfortable.”

Tom nodded, staring at the floor beside them. He leaned over and laid his head on B’s shoulder.

They were silent for a bit, Blue staring off into the ceiling and Tom looked sleepily into the blanket under them.

“Sometimes.” Tom mumbled, pulling the pillow back into his arms. “I just. Hate the idea of having power over my life. The concept of having any control over anything is so overwhelmingly terrifying to me, one decision could ruin my whole life or even the lives of everyone around me and it’d be my fault. I don’t want that to happen.”

Blue sighed softly. Not an exasperated one, but one of someone who’d run out of words and needs a moment.

“Uhm. I can’t say I stand behind that.” Blue hesitated. “I’ve been ripped of major life decision making for a while, I’d love to have some kind of control over  _anything_  for once.”

“Don’t toss away all your options before they’re  _taken_  away.” Blue made a soft jab at Tom, and the seriousness in his voice was obvious. He sounded confident in his words for once, as if he had lived a thousand lifetimes, had seen everything there was to see, and knew exactly what he meant when he said the single sentence he did.

Tom hesitated before nodding, wide eyed and still hugging the pillow to his chest.


	2. reasons why i dont want to drive a car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (original tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Me, Violent Thoughts, Intrusive Thoughts, vent - Freeform)
> 
> alternate title: my brain plays this every time i remember i will be learning to drive soon
> 
> alternate alternate title: my friends keep calling this the intrusive thoughts fic

I’m waiting, at a mildly specific, majorly significant intersection. Far left lane. I have somewhere to be, but not urgently like an appointment or a job. Probably going out to get groceries. The world around me seems misty and gray, a light drizzle hitting the windows. Not heavy enough to turn on the windshield wipers.

I tap my fingers impatiently against the dash. The light is green, but the car in front of me has to turn first. They’re taking their time waiting for other cars to pass.  I’m hazily aware of the ticking turn signal, and I start to tap to the rhythm of that instead.

 

And then

everything decides

to snap

 

I clip the left headlight of the person ahead of me, and then T someone passing by. The right side of my car is hit by someone who hit the brakes just a moment too late.

Everything is a blurry mess. I’m not dead, but not unscathed. There’s blood coming from somewhere, but it’s minor enough that I’m not going to die. My body is unobstructed, save maybe a stuck leg, but I can’t muster the energy to pull out my phone and call someone.

I’m not aware that someone might be severely hurt. I know it’s a possibility, but I have trouble processing what’s happening in the present.

Emergency vehicles arrive. Someone is rolled into the ambulance. My body is patched up, and then police take me off to the side and question me, somehow knowing this is all my fault.

I’m silent. What could I even say?

 

The thoughts made me do it?

I wanted to see what would happen?

I wanted to put myself in danger for the fun of it?

 

Police take me home in the back of their car, like a kid who just got caught doing something stupid.

Very, very stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when u realize u'd probably actually go to jail for getting into a harmful car crash on purpose


End file.
